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Re: [ProgSoc] Funny Job ad

Heya Folks,

Sorry about the link to nowhere.. but from the magic of the mighty
browser cache I bring you the original text:

Web Developer

So you were a top Web Developer, once, many years ago, until the
"correction". Now nobody cares and you are shunned in public, much as
lepers were in the fifteenth century. Your modern-day equivalent of
the chiming bell and vile burbling exclamations of “Unclean! Unclean!”
is the obnoxious ringtone on your expensive mobile. There’s a good
chance you listen to either Sisters of Mercy and Bauhaus or elaborate
Paul Oakenfold remixes, with a bit of bootlegged Chemical Brothers
thrown in for good measure. Maybe you find yourself missing the
ashtray completely, and your ESC through F3 keys are thoroughly
clogged up with burned, cancerous grey flakes. For better or for
worse, you’re familiar with such repugnant images as goatse.cx and
know what STFU means. In all probability your beverage of choice is
Jolt/Columbian Cola, and you have the weeping stomach ulcers to prove
it. You give copies of Photoshop 7.0 to your friends, thereby
depriving a fat CEO somewhere of a heated driveway. You have a
world-crushing collection of MP3s. Your author of choice: Neal
Stephenson or William Gibson. You have every volume of Gaiman’s
Sandman series, though you decided after Volume III that it`s all a
bit of a wank. Sometimes, you pretend you are in The Matrix. Your
half-elf mage/rogue is at Level 9, and has actually worked out how to
put a Bag of Holding within another Bag of Holding without imploding
Ravenloft. You can pronounce "Urotsukidoji" without hurting yourself,
and can rocket-jump better than anyone you know. You have a bit of an
attitude when it comes to Windows XP, and you like to recompile

Your spine looks like a u-bend.

Others may call you freakish. We call you lovely. And in reward for
your loveliness, we would like to offer you this mildly exciting
opportunity, if your idea of excitement is a RAM upgrade:

This is a fun little two week contract for a reasonably experienced
Web Developer with plenty of HTML (well, duh), JavaScript and ASP
know-how. Ideally you will also be fluent in the, and I quote,
“uploading of ASP pages from a SAP business connector”. I said that
out loud and Shub-Niggurath appeared and attempted to devour my soul
through some impressive shambling and ominous tentacle-writhing, so I
won’t investigate it any further.

But anyway, that’s the deal. Either you like it or you don’t, and
we’re not about to tell you either way. It’s a two week contract for a
company here in the city, and will probably be paying about $25 per
hour, commensurate with experience. So apply now (or don’t), or call
Gary Fernandes for more information.

Ryan Sabir
Newgency Pty Ltd
2a Broughton St
Paddington 2021
Sydney, Australia
Ph (02) 9331 2133
Fax (02) 9331 5199
Mobile: 0411 512 454

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